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demonicgod · 1 year ago

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[Asks from "Otherkin Ask Meme." Check my #ask game tag for the rebloggable ask meme, by user princeoframs]

This is really long so please only click the read more if you feel like dealing with a very very long post.

All art is sourced from the Grand Chase wiki.

Are you otherkin or therian?

Otherkin. I'm a fictive of Heitaros Cratsus from Grand Chase that identifies with his source in some soupy ass ways.

What are your kintype(s)?

Specifically, I identify as fictionkin of Heitaros Cratsus from Grand Chase. Related to that, I’m demonkin and divinekin/hearted. Most of those probably make sense enough, but because of my exomemories, it’s a bit more complicated to label whether divinekin or divinehearted is more accurate. My title was the Demonic God, which denoted how much power I had accrued during my time in Elyos. I literally fistfought three Goddesses and brought them to such a standstill their only option was using the last of their life force to power a magical laser bomb to kill me. Then, I spent the next few hundred years busting out of the Underworld and eating the divine reactor they slammed me with because I wanted to become a new Creator. I technically succeeded for maybe a few hours at most; so it’s difficult as a result to figure out whether I am divinehearted (that is, aspiring to divinity, but not being divine) or divinekin (seeing as I technically succeeded at becoming Creator, even if it was for a fraction of my life). I could say both, but my relationship to divinity is also fluid (especially considering my presence in a body that is not necessarily divine and is, in fact, a sack of meat appreciating the divinity of the world).

What was your awakening like? When was it?

My first awakening was when the body was in middle school. This was long before we understood that we were plural, so my awakening was muddied by a lack of clarity regarding our more-than-oneness. We came out of some religiously-exacerbated trauma with me splitting off in middle school as basically a parody of the devil. I was an asshole, and that identity kind of followed me through a dormancy to when I woke back up from it in late 2021. I still ID with that to some degree (I even mention it on my about page), but I ID a little bit more with Heitaros, because that’s the face that I found most comfortable, and it resonated with me. It was blistering at first, and the realization of a face in the context of the system made it a lot easier for me to not be so much of a rube all the time lmao.

When did you first hear about the kin community?

I believe we heard about the kin community first sometime in the middle of high school, through someone else we knew in the GC fandom, funnily enough lol.

Do you experience phantom limbs astral limbs?

We prefer the term “astral limbs” to describe appendages we don’t have that are not part of the human package. That said, I have four wings. They’re bat-like, and the bone/external membranes are a dark blue. The inner lining is a glowing bright blue, meanwhile. Both are the same color as my true body.

Do you experience any other shifts?

Yeah, I experience shifts relating to my true body (what’s my blog icon right now; I've included the full piece of art below too because it's the best official art of it). This involves a lot, including everything from my teeth to my claws. It’s just as disorienting as wing shifts considering I live in a twink’s body, lol.

What’s your favorite shift you get? Why?

Almost any of them count, but there are a few that make me feel particularly connected to my past life. My true body is one I miss a lot, but the body I took from Baldinar also has some particular meaning to me because I can sometimes use it to drag him into front lol. Also, I just like how I look wearing his features.

Tag who did it better lmao.

What’s your least favorite shift? Why?

Arguably, the same as above because sometimes intense shifts give me intense emotional pain. It's like having a head full of bees. Disorienting, confusing, and a little bit irritating, all at once. It tends to come with a little sauce side of dysphoria too, because the body's presentation doesn't match up with what I want to look like.

The only shift that makes me kind of uncomfortable is the shift I get of Kyle's body. He's in our system and comfortable around me, but it's just a little weird going from himbo to twink to sad Kingdom Hearts reject.

Can you make yourself shift?

Sometimes. Depends on who else is in front with me and what the state of the body is. With enough picrews I can kind of force a shift to my stolen body, though.

Do you have shift triggers, or do they happen randomly?

My shift triggers are usually emotional in nature, but active triggers are generally the same as my active front triggers. So, usually if I need to be in front, someone can jam me to front by engaging with those triggers, some of which make it easier for me to also induce a shift.

Do you have memories?

Yes. Practically my whole life. Some of it is just impressions, but some things are more in depth. These are also kind of front triggers for me, too, so the system will ask me to tell them more about my memories if they want or need me in front (hence me writing “fanfiction” about my source). My co-host is really good at this, and that's arguably the reason they're co-host; they'll regularly remember something about another headmate and then ask another to "tell them a story." They got like 300 pages of shit out of me by doing that lol.

What’s your favorite thing about your kintype? (The species, creature, etc)

The power. Not to sound too wild or anything lmao, but in my past life it took so much just to take me down, and the limited time I had with divinity was only better. This is a double-edged sword, of course, because I live in a chronically ill body (that is also a squishy twink), so yearning for that is kind of dangerous, but at least in-system that means no one is willing to fuck with me (at least in a “physical altercation” kind of way).

A good shift, especially if it comes with respites where I'm shifted in my sleep, leaves me feeling rejuvenated. It's like a reminder that no matter what, I still have worth and am still a force to be reckoned with. It feels like electricity, like a really good stretch after a long rest. I have no clue if anyone else can relate to this, but I hope it makes some sense.

Do you think kins are spiritual or psychological in nature?

Yes. Both. And sometimes neither. Sometimes one or the other. But for me, I’m a psychospiritual entity in a system that is disordered and engages in spiritual explanations. In other words, I don’t fucking care lol (/lh). It doesn’t matter to me, because I’m both, because my experiences can’t be boiled down to such a binary.

If you're one, the other, both, or neither, that's also not my business to pry. This shit is too queer to worry about splitting hairs.

Does anyone know you are otherkin? Friends, family, etc? If so, how did you tell them?

Yeah, most close family and quite a few close friends. Most online friends know, too.

Do you have any friends who are also kin?

Yeah!

Do you meditate?

Sometimes, but honestly at this point meditation is difficult to do in ways we like because of ADHD, dissociation, and the fact we basically dissociate all day at work and can’t easily build meditative strategies because of how that takes it out of us mentally.

Do you get kin dreams?

I actually decided to get better at lucid dreaming to try to have more, to be honest. Our sys used to be super into lucid dreaming, so I’m mostly just getting old muscles back up to snuff. It's been hit or miss all in all.

Even non-lucid kin dreams are usually really good though. Cathartic and a little bit sad to wake from, but you get over it when you're used to 'em.

Do you wish you were your kintype? Why or why not?

Depends. Would I still get to interact with my system? Would they be stuck in that body with me? If yes and no, then I would love to have my body again so I could actually squeeze the hell out of my headmates and also do the flying stim called “get up really high in the air and dive like you’re freefalling so you can parachute last second.”

Do you own any gear? If so, what items do you have and do you like to wear them?

Uhhhh skip.

Give a controversial opinion/your stance on some type of discourse.

This is purely because I’ve known a lot of misinformed kids before, but I think as a community we should be a lot better at being forthcoming about information and not being so quick to malign anyone that uses the term “KFF.�� That term cropped up in my hiatus from the community (that hiatus being because people were bitching at psychological-related kintypes in all my fucking spaces), and by time I came back, no one could do anything but bitch about “KFFers” and never seemed to say anything more than the same BS I see in the plural community. It was only after almost two years back that we FINALLY found out what that’s “supposed” to mean, and it’s such a nonsense useless term that people I used to hang out with absolutely used it in a “misinformed but not bad-faith” kind of way (the “that would semantically be called a linktype but whatever” sort of KFFer). I get that there are people that want to make our community look bad, but y’all… those bitches have always been coming into our tags and spaces and planting fake blog posts to screenshot for r3ddit karma. Cringe is dead, spend your energy blocking/moving on and making otherkin dictionaries (like the cool people that finally helped me understand what the fuck y’all were bitching about lmao).

What makes you feel closer to your kintype(s)?

Just being me. I'm stubborn as Hell when I need to be, especially when it comes to things that better the system's situation, and that usually makes me feel like I'm trying to reclaim some of my old power. Boundaries are power, to be fair.

But if we want to get more specific, it's mostly front triggers that tend to get me feeling closer to my kintype, sure, but also writing about it as well. Anything that forces me to think about it and makes it easier for me to interface with headspace, basically.

What are some things that validate you?

We had a friend in college that said our voice sounded androgynous, and I know that's mostly gender euphoria speaking, but as someone who loves how I sound when I front? Yeah.

#demonkin #divinekin #otherkin #fictive #fictionkin #source talk #heit talks #this is what i did instead of working on art #but to be fair our joints feel like they need a whole can of wd40 after our shift today #and this is an excuse for me to appreciate my source art #some of it is uh #give or take in quality #but ykw i will take what i can get

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markantonys · 5 months ago

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i'll be interested to see if this holds true for WOT s3 since the s1 finale had so many extenuating circumstances and can't really be included in the comparison, but based off of the s2 finale, i believe that season finales tend to bear the brunt of "It's Different From The Books!" ire because they are the culmination of all the smaller changes made throughout the season.

this turned into a bigger analysis post than i expected lmao par for the course with my blog! read on for exploration of how the 2x08 conclusion of each season-long arc is the the most emotionally satisfying conclusion and/or the most thematically appropriate conclusion possible based on the show's particular version of the story, plus a bonus tangent on the nature of adaptation.

for a finale episode, the writers' prime concern 100% has to be "wrapping up all the season's arcs in a way that feels satisfying with everything that's happened in the first 7 episodes, using the book version of the finale event as the framework" rather than "recreating the book version of the finale event exactly as it is with all the same scenes and themes". the nature of storytelling inherently means that every single person who tells the same story will focus on different themes (just think of how many versions of the hades & persephone story there are), and a good adaptation knows that being internally consistent with its own Emphasized Themes is more important than copying-and-pasting scenes from the source material without making any changes to account for the specific way this adaptation is telling the story.

(but a lot of people can't even get past this first point because they don't understand that this is how adaptations - how storytelling in general - work. like, person B literally cannot tell the exact same story that person A told without putting their own spin on it. it's not possible! unless they're simply reading out the exact words that person A wrote, which can't be done when putting 14 massive books into maximum 64 hours of tv. so many readers like to meet this point with "but why does the books' version of the story need to be changed at all?" which is just a non-starter because a) medium differences require a ton of changes, and b) even if no changes were *required*, they would happen anyway because that is human nature when it comes to storytelling. when it comes to story-listening too! ask a hundred different book fans what WOT is about and you'll get a hundred different answers. rafe & co can't possibly make an adaptation that captures every single reader's idea of What WOT Is About, and nobody in the world could ever re-tell the story of WOT in the exact same way that RJ told it, not even the most die-hard book fan; all rafe & co can do is focus on making sure the show honors the core of the books' story while also telling a good story in its own right, independent of the source material.)

i was a classics major, okay? it gets to me! anyway, corralling myself back on topic.

for 2x08, it's very telling just how far Minority Reader Opinion deviates from the general audience opinion. general audiences fucking LOVED this episode (it's the highest-rated on imdb out of the entire show, currently at a 9.0; most episodes are in the 7-8 range), but a bunch of readers call it disappointing and one of the worst episodes of the show. if it was actually a poor quality episode of television, the general audience ratings would reflect that too (as they do for 1x08, currently at a 6.4 (i personally think 1x08 gets way more hate than is deserved and i thoroughly enjoy that episode, but i accept that's just me)), but they don't.

so what does that mean? to me, it means that 2x08 is objectively a very good episode of television which general audiences found satisfying, but which some readers disliked because it prioritized the emotional & thematic needs of its own version of the story over the exact nature of the falme events in the source material. which is exactly what a good adaptation should do! if you forget the books and just look at the show (which the vast majority of viewers are doing), then every resolution that happens in 2x08 is the most satisfying resolution possible and/or the only resolution that was thematically permitted for that particular season storyline.

egwene: her season arc was about learning to stand on her own two feet and not cling onto her mentor figures or compare herself unfavorably to others. thus, her freeing herself from the a'dam is the most satisfying possible conclusion to her season arc. nynaeve and elayne freeing her in the books is nice, but in the show version, thematically, it would've undercut egwene's Overcoming Impostor Syndrome arc to go "yeah actually it's true that she's not good enough on her own and when it comes down to it she does always need nynaeve to help her out". that version worked in TGH where she didn't have an Overcming Impostor Syndrome arc, but it wouldn't have worked in the show where she did. (but, yes, egwene learning in 2x08 that she doesn't have to rely on others is a double-edged sword, which nicely sets up her later-series struggles with trying to shoulder too much herself and not letting even her friends or partner help her.)

rand: his season arc was about learning to lean on others and not isolate himself or try to protect his friends by withholding his burdens from them. thus, him failing to defeat ishamael until all his friends come to lend aid in various ways is the most satisfying possible conclusion to his season arc. rand defeating ishy singlehandedly in the books is nice, but in the show version, thematically, it would've undercut his Learning That Strength Is In Numbers arc to go "yeah actually it's true that rand is capable of winning his biggest battles all by himself and thus it's no problem for him to push his friends away". given the themes that s2 emphasized for rand, the only appropriate finale outcomes were either success with his friends' help or total failure on his own, and they chose the former. (that being said, rand pushing his friends away is a continuous issue for him throughout the series, so i doubt he's perfectly learned his lesson after 2x08; we shall see!)

interesting to note that rand and egwene have inverse arcs in a way (foils!) and that some elements of their book falme climaxes were swapped, and that the way the show has done it subverts the expected gender roles. typically, men are expected to be Lone Wolves and women to be Team Players, and the WOT books absolutely play into these stereotypes throughout the series (sometimes intentionally as social commentary, sometimes unconsciously as an accepted truth of the world), but 2x08 and s2 more broadly did the opposite with our yin-and-yang co-protagonists. it's egwene who has the arc about learning to be a Lone Wolf and rand who has the arc about learning to be a Team Player. and imo these subconscious gender role expectations are a part of why some readers (esp reddit) got SO heated about "how come egwene can succeed by herself but rand can't", because it feels Wrong to them and Not How Things Are Supposed To Work (they've never questioned why rand can succeed by himself but egwene needs her friends' help in TGH, or all the other times in the books when men succeed by themselves and women succeed by relying on each other). but it's a totally apples-to-oranges comparison because egwene and rand had totally different season arcs and focal themes (but many paralleling & foiling moments within that), and so they each get a conclusion tailor-made to their individual stories.

mat: his season arc was about realizing he's a good, worthy person, finding the inner strength to overcome his worst impulses and temptations, and coming through for his friends after leaving them at the waygate. thus, him getting his Big Damn Hero moment with the horn of valere, getting validation that he is literally a hero, and overall spending the episode doing all he can to support his friends is the most satisfying possible conclusion to his season arc. (but stabbing his bff just as he was flying on a confidence high and trying to save the day was a downer note to end on, so we've complicated his relationship with heroism and set up some more internal issues for him to wrestle with next season.)

perrin: his season arc was about learning to acknowledge his inner wolf but also coming to regard it with fear and to believe that wolf & human sides can't coexist and he must Choose One (.......suddenly being struck by the bisexuality metaphor of it all. nice!) thus, him giving into violence to murder a human to avenge a wolf is.....well, it's pretty upsetting for him and serves to reinforce his growing belief that his two sides can't coexist, but thematically, it's fascinating and sets him up for some really great internal (and external) conflicts in s3. he's just gotten what he thinks is pretty strong evidence to corroborate ishy's claim that embracing his wolf side means embracing the shadow, so he's set up for a season 3 of deep-diving into his relationship with violence and his inner wolf. it's also a neat parallel with 1x08: there perrin's avoidance of violence allowed fain to escape, whereas here his embracing of violence has traumatized him (again), so our poor guy is really feeling conflicted in the pacificism-or-violence question because both sides seem wrong to him right now. huh, i guess perrin's full-series arc is about finding a middle ground rather than one extreme (pacifism/tuatha'an/human) or the other (violence/aiel/wolf). i feel like i've just had an epiphany lmao this is why i love the show! it tells the same story as the books, but tells it in a different way that makes me think about it differently and gain new insights!

nynaeve: her season arc was about learning that she, on her own, as she is today, is not enough to protect her loved ones. this is a tough pill for both her and the audience to swallow! but it's needed for her character, and we see it in the books too. nynaeve has an incredible amount of power, but she's terrified of having that much power and wants to pretend it doesn't exist. she's resistant to change, she's used to being in charge, and she's very "my way or the highway". these are all things she needs to grow out of (or moderate, at least) in order to be able to step up and do her part for tarmon gai'don. she has to learn how to embrace her power instead of being afraid of it or being too stubborn to let other people guide her and teach her, so s2 shows her what happens if she doesn't, first hypothetically in the accepted test (everyone she loves dies because she's blocked and refused channeling training) and then for real in falme (she couldn't help elayne fully or rand at all because of her block). so her 2x08 conclusion being Total Failure is not emotionally satisfying, no, but it's thematically exactly what she needed and will goad her into facing her block head-on next season. thematically, like rand, nynaeve only had 2 options for falme: break her block and succeed, or retain her block and fail, and it was too soon for the former (we gotta let her cook a while longer, plus the story will become too easy if nynaeve, or rand, reaches supernova capability too soon), so it had to be the latter. if the show had gone with a third option of her succeeding without breaking her block, then that would've taught her and the audience that it's fine to leave the block in place and she doesn't need to challenge herself to grow as a person, because when it TRULY matters she can always get around the block.

other characters get appropriate resolutions too! moiraine and lan get to work together to succeed after being at odds and failing on their own all season (rand foils!). elayne gets validation that she is an essential and trusted part of the friend group after feeling like somewhat of an outsider earlier in the season. ishamael getting vanquished and lanfear betraying him only to be betrayed by him in turn is exactly where their mutual mistrust was leading them (and it shows us why it's so important that Team Light be able to work as a team rather than as self-interested individual operators; the contrast between ishy & lanfear looking at the seals together while plotting to betray each other vs. rand standing on the tower with all his friends behind him makes me cry your honor. imagine hating that ishy's defeat was a team effort, could not be me!)

(it's also worth noting that the characters who had the least individual success/victory in 2x08 (nynaeve, rand, perrin) are the ones who will have the biggest individual storylines in s3 (tanchico & moggy, waste arc, two rivers arc), whereas the characters who had the most individual success/victory (egwene, mat, moiraine, lan) are the ones who will be taking a bit more of a backseat (of course they all have their own stuff to do, but none of them is *the* lead character of their TSR/s3 traveling group). this is intentional!)

so there you have it. 2x08 is adored by the general audience, and it's because of this: it gives us some damn satisfying conclusions to all the season arcs (and some exciting and visually stunning battle sequences to boot), and all the viewers who AREN'T beleaguered by "But The Books!", which is most of them, recognize that for the good storytelling it is. i for one will always care far more about the show telling a good story within itself than the show being identical to the books, and rafe & co will too, as they should.

the only downside to the episode is that, yes, it is quite cramped for time because there are a lot of arcs to wrap up. this should be less of an issue in future seasons when the season finale isn't "every single major storyline converges in the same place at once". for example, judging by the "goldeneyes" episode title it seems s3 might split it up so that perrin's conclusion in the two rivers is in 3x07 while other conclusions in other locations are in 3x08, giving each more breathing room. whereas 2x08 had no choice but to stuff everything in that episode into that specific episode because it's not like perrin could just do his falme stuff an episode early and take a nap while everyone else was doing THEIR falme stuff in the next episode, nor could the full falme sequence have been split into 2 episodes since that would have disrupted the flow of the story. the only solution would be for 2x08 to be extra long, which is nice to imagine, but we all know that streaming shows almost never deviate from their set episode lengths and so there isn't much point sighing about "this episode should have been 90 minutes long!" because that just is not on the table, never has been, and never will be. the first step to being able to jive with an adaptation is making peace with the limits of its particular medium!

plus, the only things i might deem "missing" from 2x08 are non-essential (ingtar darkfriend reveal - that is NOT important fight me, it's only important in the books as our first example of a morally-gray shadow-aligned person but the show has already been doing that in spades) or will likely be included in 3x01 (the gang spending some time together to breathe and process and catch up). at the end of the day, the show is always going to need to be paced very very tightly with not as much breathing room as those of us accustomed to entire books dedicated to reacting to the previous book might expect. and 2x08 did manage to pack in a LOT of character work amidst all the action and did a good mix of resolving s2 arcs while leaving some unresolved to carry into s3 and introducing some new arcs/issues/conflicts, all within 70 minutes, which i find pretty impressive. in conclusion, 2x08 my fucking beloved <3

#saw some people discussing 2x08 in light of the wheel takes episode about it #i've never listened to that podcast because my brain doesn't function with podcasts #but seeing it mentioned got me thinking about 2x08 and how much i love it!#book fandom's hatred of that episode is my villain origin story it is genuinely SUCH a banger on so many fronts #character work themes stunts action adrenaline acting sets costumes music cinematography EVERYTHING is at the top of its game #i'm glad that general audiences give it the love it deserves #general audiences are way better judges of the objective quality of the show than readers are #wot #wot on prime #wot book spoilers #just for some vague mentions of future storylines & character arcs

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